One

I want to try something new.

You with me so far?

Recently I have felt really angry with God. There have been some things that have just been bugging me to the "enth" degree. The "enth" degree...pretty serious huh? I was to a point where I was just questioning God like "What is your deal God"? "Why are you letting this happen to me, why do you allow this?" I felt like God was punishing me or something.

Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever just get so bent up about the way your life is and the things that happen that you sometimes miss out on the big picture?

You know in the Bible there's this guy whose name is Job. Job is a devout follower of God, he is described as being "blameless and upright". Now this doesn't mean that Job was sinless but it showed that he was faithful in the eyes of the Lord. Job is told as being blessed by the hands of God so that his flocks may spread throughout the land.

Job was blessed.

Job was favored in the eyes of God.

But as we read in Job we see that Jobs faithfulness would be tested. We see one day that his oxen and donkeys were taken, his sheep were killed, his camels were taken, and his sons and daughters were killed as well as his servants keeping eye over the flocks.

Did I mention that this was all in ONE DAY?

Job lost EVERYTHING.

I mean come on. That's not fair is it? Hasn't Job been faithful? What did Job do to deserve this. His entire family killed. His livestock stolen.

But Job was faithful and praised God.

Another day Job is afflicted with painful sores from head to toe. The Bible says that Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it to ease his discomfort. Now I don't know about you but I cringe just thinking about that. Scraping flesh with a sharp object. Ick. I mean at this point I would be in a fit of rage. GOD WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!? Why are you making my life miserable? I mean I've already lost everything why don't you just let me be?

Job 2:9 says that Jobs wife questions him and asks "Are you still holding onto your integrity? Curse God and die!" Sounds like a great Idea huh? Just say forget you God. I am done!

Job could give in.

But Job is faithful.

Now I doubt that many of us have had painful sores from head to toe, or have had our livestock stolen, or had our entire families wiped out but we all have suffering, we all have bad things happen in our lives and our pain can be real sometimes can't it?

Lately I've been reading this book by Rob Bell called "Velvet Elvis", and in this book there is something that caught my attention probably more than anything else in the book. He makes this point where he states that God thrives on our suffering.

Wait. God? The creator God? The loving compassionate God thriving on our being miserable? What nerve!

But the more and more I read into it, I found myself agreeing.

Now I want you to hear me out before we jump to arguments. If we think about suffering we see that the worst events in our life somehow bring us closer to God. He loves it when we are at the lowest points in our lives because that's when we see the big picture.

We can't heal alone.

We need God to heal.

We have nowhere else to turn but to cry out to a loving and merciful God. To place our broken hearts and lives in the hands of the one who can put the pieces back together.

WE need to be faithful. Even in the midst of our pain.

I was having one of those nights the other night you know where you are just upset, I mean your so frustrated by events and stress in your life. It just so happened that a buddy of mine was online and messaged me and we got to talking about how the night was going. I explained my situation and frustration and we talked about things and he gave me this challenge: "When you wake up tomorrow morning, just say to yourself I have a God who loves me." Quite a challenge huh? I mean to say those words in light of the stuff I was going through. I wondered if i would feel any different by saying it.

Funny thing...I did.

I woke up that next morning and the first words out of my mouth were "I have a God who loves me." It wasn't easy but as the day progressed I began to feel a change on my heart. I told myself that for this one day I would be faithful no matter what. Things seemed easier.

I think it's funny how we always see the negative things in our lives and overlook all of the things that God has blessed us with. Overcoming our selfishness is the first step in our recovery. We have to realize the blessings that God has provided and stop concentrating on the negative things that happen in our lives.

Now believe me it takes time, it's not like it happens right away. I have had to be patient and be faithful that God would help me and he continues to do so every day.

So here is my challenge to you.

Be faithful to God and trust that he loves you and that he will take care of you. No matter what.

Take that anger, regret, those feelings of pain and rejection..and let the scars heal. Let God work in your life and let him give you a new outlook on your life.

Be faithful.

Trust me it's worth it.

"But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you." - 1 Samuel 12:24

Quick Update!

As I sit here procrastinating more and more on my Old Testament History project I decided to give a little update.
There are 3 weeks of school left (hallelujah!) and I am more stressed out then I have been all semester. I guess this is what I get for coming back to school but it'll be worth it.
Some more Ireland money came in today! 100 bucks, that is a blessing! I forgot to put the due date on my letters though so that's probably why I haven't gotten very many back. That is the highlight of my stress right now though is getting the funds for that. I am so excited to go though.
Ok well other than that just pray that these next few weeks go by as stress free as they can.
Later.